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“Cosmo Labs” is a series in which writers and sexperts try out the wackiest old Cosmopolitan sex tips and re-review them for you.
This week’s tip comes courtesy of an article called “Cosmo’s 20 Favorite Sex Tips Ever” from 2002, a primitive time when humans may — or may not — have known how to have good sex.
The Tip: “Pillow Power Great sex is all about angles — the angle of his erection and your pelvis determine exactly what hot spots he’ll hit and how tightly he’ll feel gripped. That’s why pillows can be passion’s best friend. Try one under his butt while you’re on top or supporting your tailbone in the missionary position. Or use a few to prop yourself up when lying on a counter. And don’t be afraid to experiment with odd-size cushions, too. You’ll be surprised how many new sensations you both experience just by adding a pillow.” —Paul Joannides, author of Guide to Getting It On.
Pillow Selection: Did you know there are actually pillows specifically for having sex on and/or with? They are foam and look kind of like yoga props but might have, like, a dildo sticking out of them — probably so you don’t get confused and try to have sex with your yoga mat. We didn’t have the budget for sex-only pillows (impractical!), so we had to make do with what we had, like a pillow sex jug band.
I eyed my pillows with a newly sexual eye, accessing them for fuckability. My partner — who I call The Man, because I like the idea of boning The Man — has a truly horrible favorite pillow. It’s weirdly limp and flat, yet at the same time weighs 4 million pounds. And it had two more strikes against it, which is all you get in pillow sex. Namely: (1) My oddly strong resentment of this pillow. If sex was going to go down with me and that damn pillow, it would be angry hate sex. Probably not healthy. And (2) The Man’s oddly strong love of the pillow. I wanted to avoid the possibility that he’d want to fuck that pillow more than me, and it would become a really bad threesome, where I was on the sidelines, trying to figure out a way to break in.
Pro tip: Just pick some damn pillows and be done with it.
The Act: We did not immediately tap into the Power of Pillow. I had this idea that I was going to try an assortment of positions, assess each, check, check, check, like a little efficient sex machine. Which is just sooo not conducive to fiery sex and I know this, but I did it anyway.
First I went off-book and tried a freestyle position. I leaned over the side of the bed, face down, body on the bed, legs over the side, pillows under my hips, displaying my woman parts fetchingly. It was fantastic — fabulous angle, raw and animalistic — and better with the pillow than regular doggy-style.
Because I am a journalist, kinda, we went for another angle. This time with a gigantic stack of pillows under my butt and him between my legs, kind of like a wheelbarrow, but with me on my back. I was picturing that this would be insane, with optimum space for any needed extra rubbing, but, for us at least, the angle was a bit off and it was hard to get good leverage.
Finally I abruptly had him flip over and put a pillow under his butt so I could ride him like a cowgirl.
The Verdict: Later I had some extra wash to do, but it was completely worth it. Getting cum on your pillows means you’re doing something right, I say. It’s easier to adjust the angles when all that requires is fluffing a pillow, rather than flexing your butt muscles until they cramp, and sometimes all it takes is the slightest shift to go from boring sex to completely explosive sex. Find yourself some slutty pillows and give it a go.
Jill Hamilton writes the blog In Bed With Married Women. Follow her on Twitter.
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