Ryan Broderick / BuzzFeed
McDonald’s
First up, we have McDonald’s, which I assumed would be way weirder. Aside from some seasonal items and a few weird twists on classic stuff, though, it’s more or less the same. Here’s what you can get in Japan you can’t get anywhere else.
The Mega Muffin
First impressions: This is on their breakfast menu, it’s two hamburger/sausage-type things with bacon and eggs and cheese. The whole thing is covered in ketchup. I want to eat it every day for the rest of my life.
Emoji rating: out of five.
Teriyaki McBurger
First impressions: Oh! This is just a McDonald’s hamburger covered in teriyaki sauce. Alright then.
Emoji rating: out of five.
Vegetable Chicken Burger
First impressions: It’s a veggie burger and not exactly a great one. But the radioactive-looking orange sauce is actually amazing.
Emoji rating: out of five.
Gracoro Burger
First impressions: Imagine like a big mozzarella stick covered in a tangy mayonnaise-type sauce and covered in shredded lettuce. Now imagine like the most delicious version of that — this thing was AWESOME.
Emoji rating: out of five.
Burger King
Burger King, more than any other American fast food joint, seems to be the chain that has gone completely off the rails in Japan. It has a ton of weird stuff, most of it totally delicious. Also, you can smoke inside if you’re looking to light one up after eating your breakfast hot dog.
SPAM & Cheese Burger
First impressions: OK, did not have high hopes for this, but holy cow. It is so weird and good, don’t ask me why or how, but I totally recommend it!
Emoji rating: out of five.
BK Hot Dog Classic
First impressions: I thought this would be some kind of breakfast-themed hot dog, but it’s just a hot dog. It’s pretty good nonetheless!
Emoji rating: out of five.
Pizza and Tuna Corn Pies
First impressions: Did not know what these were until I looked them up later. The pizza one tastes like a hot pocket and the tuna corn one tastes like clam chowder.
Emoji rating: out of five.
Avocado Fish
First impressions: This shouldn’t be any good, but it’s pretty great. And the avocado is not totally gross!
Emoji rating: out of five.
Quattro Cheeseburger
First impressions: Bruuuuhhhhh, this bad boy is a cheeseburger with a big hash brown inside. This shouldn’t be a special thing, all cheeseburgers should just have a hash brown in them!
Emoji rating: out of five.
KFC
KFC inhabits a really weird place in Japanese society. It’s where you go for Christmas and Colonel Sanders is a really well-known figure. It’s more or less the same, but there are a few things you can get in Japan that you can’t get elsewhere.
Chicken Fillet Sandwich
First impressions: I had to try the chicken and, oh man, is it better than the U.S. Did not feel nearly as gross after eating this as I would have in the states.
Emoji rating: out of five.
Grilled Rice Ball
First impressions: I thought this was going to be more like, I don’t know, interesting? But it’s just a rice ball covered in soy sauce.
Emoji rating: out of five.
Shrimp Stick Thing?
First impressions: I’m not sure what it’s called though because it’s new and Google translate says it’s called “shrimp angrily fly,” but it was good!
Emoji rating: out of five.
In conclusion: Go to McDonald’s for breakfast, Burger King for the Quattro Burger, and stick with the chicken at KFC.
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